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Odd Jobs

Last night was the first night since I’ve started this blogging project of mine that I didn’t write. While my streak was only up to 9 days, I was hoping to go a little longer than that and I expect my extensive viewership to hold me to higher standards in the future. I was a grumpy-gills last night because I sat around too much and still don’t really know what I’m doing with myself so I didn’t feel like writing. You really didn’t miss anything. Onward and upward though, right? Today I spent a lot of time thinking about all the travelling I’d like to do and all the adventures I’d like to go on. It’s been too long since I’ve been on a roller coaster, I still haven’t been to Boston, and I don’t own a boat. Unfortunately we come to a little bit of an issue here. An incredibly wise Kanye West once said, “Having money’s not everything, not having it is.” (Sidenote: I’ll go word for word with Mr. West on Can’t Tell Me Nothin’ any time you want) I have money to live off of for a bit, but I’m not exactly in the position to be throwing any cash around these days. I can take off somewhere for the day and enjoy myself, but I can’t take on the grandiose plans I’d like to. Especially not with the lack of incoming cash situation I’ve got going on right now. As many of you know already, the whole internship thing didn’t super work out for me and I’ve got an ego problem so up to this point I haven’t gotten just another one of those lame Summer jobs that you hate, but at least pay you a little. Therefore not only do I have little money, but I have a lot of time. Mom continues to tell me to find something like I don’t already know that and I’m happy being home all the time. Well no money plus lots of time (and continuing to begrudgingly avoid a normal, menial Summer job) left me wondering what other ways I could spend my time and make some money. Logically, the first thing that came to mind was sperm donation. The problem is I’m not over 6 feet tall or blonde which is apparently their favorite type of guy to donate. I’m bringing a strong, 5’11” brown hair and eye game with a good health history, but that only gets me so far. If I’m honest with myself there’s probably a few other reasons why I should look for a different revenue source. Potentially having unknown Tom Jr’s out there may eventually bear too strong on my conscience. It also may cause unnecessary stress in meaningful relationships of mine down the road. I did a little reading and apparently some girls don’t like the idea of mystery Tom Jr’s out there. It’s a personal choice. Lastly, mom probably doesn’t want to hear the explanation I have for coming back after “running some errands” with an extra 40 bucks in hand. Word on the street is an accepted volunteer can donate 2-3 times a week. While per hour rates vary between participants (there’s a joke in there somewhere) it’s not the worst bang for your buck. Please do be sure to keep in mind some consequences related to your donation if you’re considering. So I ruled out sperm donation, but that’s only one of my bodily fluids that I can sell! Blood donation is extremely easy if you can deal with the needle and maybe being a little cold and dizzy for a bit. I actually kinda like needles and haven’t had any issues with my experience in the past. No matter how many people are donating they’re always looking for more and considering it doesn’t take too much time and effort, it’s really something you should do if you can. I think the rule is one donation every 56 days? 8 weeks, it’s something right around there. To my knowledge, normal blood donation doesn’t usually end in a monetary gift at the end, but I’m told prizes can be earned through repeated donations. I’ve got that A+ blood, so they love seeing me. If you’re still down for some needles, but in more dire need of cash, I’d direct you toward plasma donation. A very similar process to blood donation, but they grab the plasma out of your blood and give you your red blood cells back at the same time. Because this process is different than normal blood donation you can actually donate 2 times a week and plasma donation facilities will compensate you for your time. A little research suggests payments between 20 and 30 dollars. Plasma donations go towards helping people suffering from various ailments like blood conditions. An adult suffering from the blood clotting disease hemophilia needs 1200 plasma donations a year in order to receive the necessary therapy. Again, any donation here is huge and plasma donations have the added incentive of the cash reward. I definitely plan on working blood and plasma donation into my schedule more often in the future. Moving on, on somewhat of a less serious note, after I looked into donating my bodily fluids I brought my odd job search elsewhere. Craigslist is a beautiful, terrifying place. Honestly I responded to a couple inquiries for some work and I think I may have responded to a couple too many. I avoided anything that mentioned modelling. It pained me, but I thought it was for the best. There was one ad for some blog writing which I asked some questions about and then there was another one about helping with film production that I contacted because why not? Research studies are something I’ve participated in the past for class credit, but have never completed for money. Especially around college campuses or major hospitals there are often studies you can be involved in. The psychology related ones I’ve done in the past were all harmless besides the one time they told me I was gonna get to ‘drink some things’ for science, but didn’t end up getting to drink anything. Some studies may be easy one time things while others may be more intensive and pay more. Either way I plan on keeping my eyes out for something I might be interested in. I ended up reading about online survey sites that pay for survey completions and plenty of reviews telling me I should totally do it, but I think that’s something I’ll end up passing on. Some other odd jobs I stumbled upon were submarine chef (actually cooking on a sub), embalmer, and bounty hunter. Those were a little too permanent for me though. Ones like human scarecrow, voice over work, and waterslide tester sounded more down my alley. That’s right, waterslide tester. Apparently I just have to ride a bunch of waterslides, rate them, and tell people about them. Is this real life? I sent an incredibly passionately worded message to one of the companies that I’d found to have employed this position in the past. In my message I started with the bogus stuff like, I’m really interested in advertising, especially social media marketing and I’m always ready for my next adventure. Then I was sure to stress some of my more important qualities like the fact that I tan exceptionally well and happen to operate as a human much better without having to wear a shirt. I’m positive that they will respond well to me enthusiasm and confidence. What do y’all think? Any other good options you can come up with or something you’ve done in the past? I know I could try to mow my neighbors lawns or something, but I’m looking for anything but mundane. END.

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3 thoughts on “Odd Jobs

  1. Mariam Tsaturyan says:

    Hello! Your post was all kinds of funny and depressing at the same time. One idea that comes to mind is editing papers or writing them. You seem to be doing a good job here, so why not help your college buddies with their papers? Charge competitive prices. I would also advertise services as customized story writer. This is something I always thought about doing, but never got around to it. Let people submit their characters, and the genre, and have you write a story for them. Or you can do the same for children’s stories. I am sure there are lots of parents out there who would want to read a nice story featuring their child as the kid goes to slay dragons, and such. These are just few ideas connected with writing that could work well with your blogging as well. Other than these, I guess there is everyday mundane jobs you can apply to. Hope this helped!

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